ON PLANNING AND TAKING THE NEXT RIGHT STEP!

Again, my final exam for phase IIIA is coming very soon. Anticipating and thinking about it is absolutely making me feel very nervous. This is because I am not ready for it at ALL!

Lately I had been spending a lot of my time on social functions, such as friends' birthday celebration and so on. Of course, I enjoyed myself. No need to doubt either, that I ate a lot and gained weight very fast. As usual, I could not control my food intake because I love them! My discipline and determination were not strong enough. I wish I can do better than that. No regret though, as it were all my choices. I did not want to miss those chances of being with my friends. Laughing and talking out loud with each other were very pleasurable and fun. Every moments counts and each of it had its very own unique memory in mysterious part of my brain. Moreover, my hobbies of snapping photos helped me saved time from the need to write and tell everything that I had done. When, Where, What, Why and How? All these could be answered by just looking in those photos I had taken. If I am not mistaken, there is a quote with "A picture tells thousands of words" which is very genuinely TRUE! ;P

Back to my main concern, my study. I am a medical student in a public university in Malaysia. I am so lucky that I am here today in this place. I have done so many things in the past 2 and a half years. Variation of activities eg. Dancing competition, swimming team ( out of no where for a beginner with such heavy body like Elephant ), Dota competion organiser, being a PR in GACC ( during first year ), chess competion ( although my skill is erm....hehe, you guess la! ), and etc. Looking back at those times, I am so so so so contented! My and mine university life. I termed it as "colourful and fun and lively". Well, that is my interpretation. I have fulfilled my goal of leading such a life since I was in secondary school. Yay~~

Regarding the coming soon finale, I am scared and nervous. I really hope worrying about it won't back my acne get worse. I can't bear it. It really blows my inferiority complex ;( Although I am sure I handle it well better than last time, the feeling is bad still. I can't explain it in words. But it is BAD. Haih... What to do? I don't know. What ever, final is what I have to face anyway. There's no way I can escape from it!

Now that, my group mates and I have just formed a small study group to utilise and enhance our output learning after being "psycho" by our latest lecturer Dr. Wong. He is a man with experience as he used to be in the same place same shoe with us. The whole 2 weeks he was teaching us the basic principles and repetatively emphasized on importance of effective output learning. Actually, the other lecturers and seniors also stressed on the same thing, yet, I took no action because I don't have the mouth to ask! Haih, that's the problem with me. COurage.... Hence, there is four of us girls now. We're making deal among ourselves to clerk cases and present to each other. Then discuss upon it. Making use of or own knowledge and pushing each other harder to study. It is a drive for me to work hard. It is true. Finding a correct working partner is also crucial. Just like ZK, she is a hard-working girl with beautiful pair of legs and skin. I admire her. It was my pleasure to have her as my working partner for the past 2 months of medicine posting. We looked for cases and sometimes clerking, doing short cases together. We have been practising presentation to each other. We accepted both parties comments and so on. If she had not being my partner, I guess I'll probably spend most of the evening lays around in my room doing nothing. Thanks, ZK.

I only have 2 months left. Somehow, I have to push myself to study more and effectively. Before this, I always give excuses of being "no mood". Now that I can't afford to do it anymore, I just have to make myself study no matter how. I need ideas to refresh myself. Anyone? Any idea you want to share with me? Feel free to talk to me through email or messenger or whatever. thanks. My goal is to graduate proudly as a doctor. So that I can prove to my teacher and people that used to doubt and laugh at me when they first got to know I study med! I want to move on and return to PJ. Klang hospital is a nice place to learn for beginner like me. I don't love it but I appreciate those patients who are willing to teach and help us students. It is such a good opportunity to practice.

Hence, in a nutshell, drilling and practising at the same time is a must for ME. No more excuses I can give. Plus, study. I need to add in more information to strengthen my basic, as a compensation of the little study time that I had during my first and second years in 2nd college. I just have to trust my own guts and uphold my determination of becoming a GOOD doctor.

~Believe in myself~