WHERE GOES MY MOOD???

Another 2 months to go for final exam, yet, I'm still struggling hard searching for my study mood! What happen to me? OMG, exam is just around the corner, but my mind still drifting away to some other places each time I sit in front of piles of books on my table.

Why? WHy?? WHY???

Help!!! I can't afford to continue this way. But it is so hard to force oneself to study if the mind and soul are not here!

HOw???

~CHOICES I MADE~

Now that I have almost ended my third year study in UM, as a medical student, I am so glad that I'm able to struggle through those torturing exam days. Looking back, I have never regret. Not even for a minute.

Because? This is my choice. I made it 3 years ago, and I love it, although it ain't easy.

Today, on the way back to Klang hostel, I had met 2 middle-aged ladies at the airport. Both of them seemed to be quite amazed when I revealed I'm a medical student. The first one is a grandmother, where she expressed herself being so envy of current education system in Kelantan where the competition is high, as seen through her grandchildren's studies. On the other hand, another lady who has married to an Indonesian Chinese businessman she met when she went US to study years ago, kept asking me the education system in local university as well as private college such as Taylor. She meant to send her only daughter to study here when she finish her O-level 2 years later. Well, she was quite rich, from the way she expressed herself. She's quite friendly though. Oh yeah, I am not boosting myself in the airport, but only upon asking by those 2 ladies mentioned above ;P

In addition, they also mentioned a bit on current hot biz H5N1 influenza which had invaded Malaysia 2 days ago, brought by a local student studying abroad in US. This is worrying everyone, everywhere. Yet, just like the headlines in NST, this is not deadly virus, yet people are so concern about it while on the other hand, the flu that is pandemic through out these few decades which killed more than 25,000 people per year globally are not being put as headline. Confusing huh? I guess so for most people. Plus, there is also an outbreak of meningitis in the west coast claiming few lives. Anyway, in short, all we have to do is maintain cleanliness: handwash, cooked properly, avoid too crowded area. Prevention is better than cure. Agree???

Back to topic: my choice, my study, my course, my life.

I will be completing 60% of my study after passing my "coming soon" Phase IIIA final examination in end of July. Genuinely, it is not hard, yet not easy. I think the same apply to all other courses like dentistry, pharmacy, engineering, architecture and so on. All we as students should do are putting our hearts into study, make ourselves love it and be hardworking. Everyone on earth is blessed with a brain and different level of intelligence(exception to those who are mentally retarded) . Hence, just make use of it. Once I make a decision, it meant a lot to me because it bother me especially its effects fore and after. But, in this case, choosing this course is cooL( to me...). Although it caused me to have insomnia and palpitation occasionally, I never lament or complain about it. I am gonna bear with it until the end of my life and the rest of my life. I believe my determination and will are sailing along with me these years as well as in the future. No regrets.

Just like everyone else, I am struggling. Aiming to graduate proudly and live my life! Year 2011 is coming soon and I am so so looking forward to it already.

Obesity and weight control

Nowadays, the above problems are very common among our society as fast food restaurants are mushrooming in these few years. Well, not to blame on those fast food, our society's standard of living has increase a lot. Hence, the nutrition that the children and younger generation depend on has also change. Everyone wants it quick and tasty. So the most common is McD, KFC, A&W and so on. We ate tonnes of chicken, beef, fish and others yet the amount of vegetable and fruits consume has increase not much if compared to the intake of meat.

Me? I am obese, as according to the table given by health ministry. My BMI is over according to Asian standard. I know, I am short and plum, I should not eat so much. Haih, but that's me. I used to eat to enjoy and even when I am sad. Falling ill doesn't reduce my appetite. I love to eat. Yet, I am not active in sports. That explain why I am obese.

To tell the truth, I try to reduce my calorie intake, but not much effect seen. I still have my belly with me. Spare tires, from 3 increase to 5 layers lately. Paise... I always give many excuses just to avoid sports. In contrast, I still lament a lot of my weight.

Guess my major cause is I do not have the determination. As a matter of fact, I am lack of it!

Why mother is so special:

When I came home in the rain,

Brother asked why didn't you take an umbrella.

Sister advised, Why didn't you wait till rain stopped.

Father angrily warned, only after getting cold, you will realize.

But Mother, while drying my hair, said, stupid rain!

Couldn't it wait, Till my child came home?

~That's MOM~

That's how special most of the mothers in this earth, including our mother earth! They provide the best for us, with love, with warmth, with passion, with food, with shelther, with clothes and not to forget, education. Every best thing that they can find will always be prioritise to their children. How great they are!

My beloved mom, she is great and nice. I love her so so so much! Since young, she has been nurturing be with great care and give her best to me. She patiently educate me until today, and this here I am, currently studying in a local public university. When I first went out to KL to study, she cried a lot as she and I were separated far away and will not see each other often. Yet, now that I came back home whenever there is holiday, I can see such lovely cheerful smile on her face. We hugged and embraced each other. I think that is far more better than buying her products.

Mom is getting older, and so am I. I wish I can graduate smoothly and work and take care of both my parents and my grandfather well. Just like what they did for me. This is my responsibility. Spending precious time with family is crucial as it can make everyone of us feel more closer to each other. Especially this year's mother's day. My dad purposely celebrated it twice because my brother, mike and I came back home on different time. We enjoyed every moment of it.

Everyday can be Mother's day, or Father's day.

As long as we appreciate and be grateful of what we have, everyday is special~~

SLEEP DEPRIVATION

Sleeping late and waking up early to study had been my routine for the past few weeks. This is in fact because of my last minute study plan. I drank a lot of coffee and had suppers which contributed to my weight gain. Haih... Who to blame? me.

Even everytime I am home, I still have the same problem. This is because I want to utilise all the precious time I have at home. Full time internet access and mtv channels, and being indolence worth more than a king's ransom. That explain the reason why I am still deprive of sleep even though I am at home all the time. I am weird, don't you think so? Well, I just cherished every moment I have to lays around and do whatever I like, and spending time with my parents and family.

Guess I'll just pay the sleep debt when I'm back in hostel. Especially in the weekends. That's what I have in mind right now. Who knows what will happen in the next minute? I don't get tomorrow's newspaper today. No worry. OOPppss, I have to be worry, my study!

Lastly, I think it is time for me to go for a good sleep. Good night and good morning! ;P

ON PLANNING AND TAKING THE NEXT RIGHT STEP!

Again, my final exam for phase IIIA is coming very soon. Anticipating and thinking about it is absolutely making me feel very nervous. This is because I am not ready for it at ALL!

Lately I had been spending a lot of my time on social functions, such as friends' birthday celebration and so on. Of course, I enjoyed myself. No need to doubt either, that I ate a lot and gained weight very fast. As usual, I could not control my food intake because I love them! My discipline and determination were not strong enough. I wish I can do better than that. No regret though, as it were all my choices. I did not want to miss those chances of being with my friends. Laughing and talking out loud with each other were very pleasurable and fun. Every moments counts and each of it had its very own unique memory in mysterious part of my brain. Moreover, my hobbies of snapping photos helped me saved time from the need to write and tell everything that I had done. When, Where, What, Why and How? All these could be answered by just looking in those photos I had taken. If I am not mistaken, there is a quote with "A picture tells thousands of words" which is very genuinely TRUE! ;P

Back to my main concern, my study. I am a medical student in a public university in Malaysia. I am so lucky that I am here today in this place. I have done so many things in the past 2 and a half years. Variation of activities eg. Dancing competition, swimming team ( out of no where for a beginner with such heavy body like Elephant ), Dota competion organiser, being a PR in GACC ( during first year ), chess competion ( although my skill is erm....hehe, you guess la! ), and etc. Looking back at those times, I am so so so so contented! My and mine university life. I termed it as "colourful and fun and lively". Well, that is my interpretation. I have fulfilled my goal of leading such a life since I was in secondary school. Yay~~

Regarding the coming soon finale, I am scared and nervous. I really hope worrying about it won't back my acne get worse. I can't bear it. It really blows my inferiority complex ;( Although I am sure I handle it well better than last time, the feeling is bad still. I can't explain it in words. But it is BAD. Haih... What to do? I don't know. What ever, final is what I have to face anyway. There's no way I can escape from it!

Now that, my group mates and I have just formed a small study group to utilise and enhance our output learning after being "psycho" by our latest lecturer Dr. Wong. He is a man with experience as he used to be in the same place same shoe with us. The whole 2 weeks he was teaching us the basic principles and repetatively emphasized on importance of effective output learning. Actually, the other lecturers and seniors also stressed on the same thing, yet, I took no action because I don't have the mouth to ask! Haih, that's the problem with me. COurage.... Hence, there is four of us girls now. We're making deal among ourselves to clerk cases and present to each other. Then discuss upon it. Making use of or own knowledge and pushing each other harder to study. It is a drive for me to work hard. It is true. Finding a correct working partner is also crucial. Just like ZK, she is a hard-working girl with beautiful pair of legs and skin. I admire her. It was my pleasure to have her as my working partner for the past 2 months of medicine posting. We looked for cases and sometimes clerking, doing short cases together. We have been practising presentation to each other. We accepted both parties comments and so on. If she had not being my partner, I guess I'll probably spend most of the evening lays around in my room doing nothing. Thanks, ZK.

I only have 2 months left. Somehow, I have to push myself to study more and effectively. Before this, I always give excuses of being "no mood". Now that I can't afford to do it anymore, I just have to make myself study no matter how. I need ideas to refresh myself. Anyone? Any idea you want to share with me? Feel free to talk to me through email or messenger or whatever. thanks. My goal is to graduate proudly as a doctor. So that I can prove to my teacher and people that used to doubt and laugh at me when they first got to know I study med! I want to move on and return to PJ. Klang hospital is a nice place to learn for beginner like me. I don't love it but I appreciate those patients who are willing to teach and help us students. It is such a good opportunity to practice.

Hence, in a nutshell, drilling and practising at the same time is a must for ME. No more excuses I can give. Plus, study. I need to add in more information to strengthen my basic, as a compensation of the little study time that I had during my first and second years in 2nd college. I just have to trust my own guts and uphold my determination of becoming a GOOD doctor.

~Believe in myself~