I always wish I can have a romantic or at least a nice relationship by the time I reach 21 years old. Just a trustworthy and honest guy who loves me and take care of me... It requires feelings... I know, i know, the more I wish, the more things won't happen to me.... It is always like that. I just can't explain why. Maybe GOD is playing games with me. I dont dare to go fortune-teller to ask for my romance. Because I afraid things will turned out bad. I mean~~not on the bright side. On the other hand, maybe i'm too fussy? nope, i don't think so. Not much guy friends around me. Am I too passive? Some quiet girls also able to attract the opposite sex. Why can't I when i'm more active and talkactive than them? erm, I know i'm not beautiful or possessing a slim and sexy body, i'm me! What's wrong with me??? THis thought have been jumping inside my head for quite some time. I never able to figure it out... Haih....

I changed my haircut, try on new style, hanging out with a differet group of friends who are more out-going and more male friends. But still, I'm always on the dark side. No one sees me, I wish i can be in the limelight. I mean, I want to try?! Anyway, I do not know what to say, just smile and stand a side. Cause I dont' have a thing which enable me to comment or participate! No beauty, not sexy, not knowledgable enough, dull, plum, short, not jovial and NOT ATTRACTIVE!!!

Am i too fierce to be approachable? maybe. That always become the first feedback i got when getting to know new people. I did try to change, to break the ice. More smiles... But i dont' like to fake it! Not me at all<<>

Haih...WHATEVER! i gotta keep my life goin on, to see more, to experience more, to play more, and keep searching. I will not give up. I know I shouldn't. LIFE IS COMPLICATED. nobody can deny that, it just depend on how you look at things from different perspectives.

~chao~