My mom asked me yesterday, does anyone interested in me?
That sparked my thought.... She meant the boy that accompany me to ward almost everyday. Well, I did told my mom about what's happening to me everyday, my findings, my cases, my feelings and so on. My mom is my best friend. No one can beat that. But still, there's not everything I can tell her. Sometimes, I feel very miserable cause I can't share the story with her. I can't tell her everything I feel. It is like bursting inside of me.... What can I do? Keep it within me, I concluded, is the best way.
What the heck it is about? What makes me so sick of myself? Haih...
I'm in the run of searching for my life partner, my "the other half" in another words. Undeniably, I'm attracted to the opposite sex especially when he is a good man, trustworthy and honest. Mom asked me before, what criteria do i set? Well, I want a clean-cut, genuine man with honesty and trustwothy. Is it too high my request? I don't think so. No matter what his job, where he works, the most important thing is that he loves me as I do to him. So far, nil~~
Sometimes, i'm fascinating about meeting my boyfriend, with him cudddling me, hugging and kissing me... It is so warm, I suppose... I wish it will come true. Especially when I saw other couples in the walk-way. I'm jealous for sure. I keep asking myself, when will it be my turn? I know myself, i'm not very pretty, short and plum. None in me that is attracting and outstanding. But i believe it will be my turn when someone discover who is me, inside me.... This ain't gonna be easy, maybe takes time too... Whatever, I'm daydreaming~~
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Oh man, i'm finally back in hostel at HTAR again. IT is not a stranger to me, but still, I miss home. ~Home Sweet Home~~
I boarded the train last night at Wakaf Bharu Train Station at 7.10pm. The train was late. Both my parents sent me off. Oh yeah, the coach E4 was damn hot as the air conditioner was not on. After someone went to complaint, it was finally switched on. It was not very cold, but cool enough for me..I was sitting on my bed reading CLEO, the magezine bought in the evening. While reading, I finished off the Pita Bread mom cooked for me. IT was so nice and delicious. Oh, wish I can have more, it was so tasty. 2 hours later, about 9pm, I was a bit dizzy, as an effect of reading on moving vehicle. Hence, I put my self to sleep, though it was quite early still.
"Bum bum bi dam bum, bum, bi dam bum....disturbia~~~" my message alert tone rang, it was messages from mom... Then i went off to sleep again....
The next moment i woke up was already 8.30am. I was quite surprised that I slept for that long hours. A good and deep sleep. I felt so much more energized. After an hour, the train arrived at KL sentral. I went to 7-11 to bought 3 high 5 bread, then went to Pasar Seni LRT to take bus to come back to HTAR. The whole journey was quite smooth. About 10.30am i stepped into D110. My room. I cleaned and mopped the floor. Put my Yellow Blanket out under sun to let UV kills bacteria; same things goes to my bed sheet and pillows too. After that only I went to bath. I was quite smelly, I don't deny that. Haha....
I wanted to call my mom, but i postponed the thought after lunch. Coincidentally, my mom called me when i went to toilet to wash clothes. I called her, informing her my journey and that I arrived in HTAR safe and sound. I went to lunch in the dining hall alone. Luckily Khoon Sim came and eat and accompany during my meal time. Not so boring though...
I boarded the train last night at Wakaf Bharu Train Station at 7.10pm. The train was late. Both my parents sent me off. Oh yeah, the coach E4 was damn hot as the air conditioner was not on. After someone went to complaint, it was finally switched on. It was not very cold, but cool enough for me..I was sitting on my bed reading CLEO, the magezine bought in the evening. While reading, I finished off the Pita Bread mom cooked for me. IT was so nice and delicious. Oh, wish I can have more, it was so tasty. 2 hours later, about 9pm, I was a bit dizzy, as an effect of reading on moving vehicle. Hence, I put my self to sleep, though it was quite early still.
"Bum bum bi dam bum, bum, bi dam bum....disturbia~~~" my message alert tone rang, it was messages from mom... Then i went off to sleep again....
The next moment i woke up was already 8.30am. I was quite surprised that I slept for that long hours. A good and deep sleep. I felt so much more energized. After an hour, the train arrived at KL sentral. I went to 7-11 to bought 3 high 5 bread, then went to Pasar Seni LRT to take bus to come back to HTAR. The whole journey was quite smooth. About 10.30am i stepped into D110. My room. I cleaned and mopped the floor. Put my Yellow Blanket out under sun to let UV kills bacteria; same things goes to my bed sheet and pillows too. After that only I went to bath. I was quite smelly, I don't deny that. Haha....
I wanted to call my mom, but i postponed the thought after lunch. Coincidentally, my mom called me when i went to toilet to wash clothes. I called her, informing her my journey and that I arrived in HTAR safe and sound. I went to lunch in the dining hall alone. Luckily Khoon Sim came and eat and accompany during my meal time. Not so boring though...
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
I always wish I can have a romantic or at least a nice relationship by the time I reach 21 years old. Just a trustworthy and honest guy who loves me and take care of me... It requires feelings... I know, i know, the more I wish, the more things won't happen to me.... It is always like that. I just can't explain why. Maybe GOD is playing games with me. I dont dare to go fortune-teller to ask for my romance. Because I afraid things will turned out bad. I mean~~not on the bright side. On the other hand, maybe i'm too fussy? nope, i don't think so. Not much guy friends around me. Am I too passive? Some quiet girls also able to attract the opposite sex. Why can't I when i'm more active and talkactive than them? erm, I know i'm not beautiful or possessing a slim and sexy body, i'm me! What's wrong with me??? THis thought have been jumping inside my head for quite some time. I never able to figure it out... Haih....
I changed my haircut, try on new style, hanging out with a differet group of friends who are more out-going and more male friends. But still, I'm always on the dark side. No one sees me, I wish i can be in the limelight. I mean, I want to try?! Anyway, I do not know what to say, just smile and stand a side. Cause I dont' have a thing which enable me to comment or participate! No beauty, not sexy, not knowledgable enough, dull, plum, short, not jovial and NOT ATTRACTIVE!!!
Am i too fierce to be approachable? maybe. That always become the first feedback i got when getting to know new people. I did try to change, to break the ice. More smiles... But i dont' like to fake it! Not me at all<<>
Haih...WHATEVER! i gotta keep my life goin on, to see more, to experience more, to play more, and keep searching. I will not give up. I know I shouldn't. LIFE IS COMPLICATED. nobody can deny that, it just depend on how you look at things from different perspectives.
~chao~
I changed my haircut, try on new style, hanging out with a differet group of friends who are more out-going and more male friends. But still, I'm always on the dark side. No one sees me, I wish i can be in the limelight. I mean, I want to try?! Anyway, I do not know what to say, just smile and stand a side. Cause I dont' have a thing which enable me to comment or participate! No beauty, not sexy, not knowledgable enough, dull, plum, short, not jovial and NOT ATTRACTIVE!!!
Am i too fierce to be approachable? maybe. That always become the first feedback i got when getting to know new people. I did try to change, to break the ice. More smiles... But i dont' like to fake it! Not me at all<<>
Haih...WHATEVER! i gotta keep my life goin on, to see more, to experience more, to play more, and keep searching. I will not give up. I know I shouldn't. LIFE IS COMPLICATED. nobody can deny that, it just depend on how you look at things from different perspectives.
~chao~
Well, I'm kinda new to this blogspot.com//
I like writing post, it is a way where i can express my feelings, to the extent of all those things that I hardly can tell others include my mom through verbal language!
I just finish my exam 2 days ago, which i thought was quite bad. My efforts all in med posting? All went into dust! It was not that i never did that examination before, but... I'm not well-prepared, which I should! I'm mad with myself. Although I can't do a thing about it now... I'm always like that, regrets came when it's already an end =.=
There is so many things in my head. I'm having palpitations and grasping for air when i woke up suddenly from my bed! Nightmares... Even eveningmares! Whatever~~ I'm thinking about my exam, my friends, my groupmates, my med posting which already comes to an end, my next future posting; my family, my search for the other half??? Haih, everything is so intense and I wish I can solve it immediately. But, my LIFE is just about to begin... Like I always say,"LIFE IS COMPLICATED!" We'll never know what will happen next... to make it short, Things never occur like what i expected or planned. That's why...
I like writing post, it is a way where i can express my feelings, to the extent of all those things that I hardly can tell others include my mom through verbal language!
I just finish my exam 2 days ago, which i thought was quite bad. My efforts all in med posting? All went into dust! It was not that i never did that examination before, but... I'm not well-prepared, which I should! I'm mad with myself. Although I can't do a thing about it now... I'm always like that, regrets came when it's already an end =.=
There is so many things in my head. I'm having palpitations and grasping for air when i woke up suddenly from my bed! Nightmares... Even eveningmares! Whatever~~ I'm thinking about my exam, my friends, my groupmates, my med posting which already comes to an end, my next future posting; my family, my search for the other half??? Haih, everything is so intense and I wish I can solve it immediately. But, my LIFE is just about to begin... Like I always say,"LIFE IS COMPLICATED!" We'll never know what will happen next... to make it short, Things never occur like what i expected or planned. That's why...
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