Depress, is the word that suits me well? I’m not sure, because I don’t feel good, that’s all I can say for now.

Dunno why, I feel very down today. Morning wake up, I started to feel lost. Alone, to be exact. Why am I here? Where should I go? What should I do next? I feel like I lost my direction. I have task to do, but it makes me feel irritated. Uneasy. God knows why! Haih, I am feeling empty. It is so hard to describe it in words. I tried to eat, sweet stuff, you know, may increase good hormone that makes us feel good. But sadly, that don’t work on me this time. I try listen to music, but still no changes. Bad…. What should I do now? Talk? To whom? My mom? I don’t want to bother her with my problems. I don’t want her to worry about me, she is busy marking exam papers. Dad? Erm, he’ll sure say something positive to calm me down. But that’s not what I want.

Actually I don’t even know what I want. What I am searching for…. I just feel so empty. That’s all. As a matter of fact, my mood swings. I’m thinking that I’m not independent enough to solve my own problems. Friends? Who should I talk to? Roommate? I don’t’ know how to talk to her…. My best friend? By the way, I don’t’ want to bother anyone. But this stupid feeling is killing me at his moment. What can I do? Feel like crying… Too idiot to do so…

Currently listening to song by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. It is so graceful and sweet. But is it real? Can there be any miracle happen in reality? Just believe it and it can be achieved? I want to, but the hope is really frail…. Seems to be far far away. I’m just too naïve, I think. Although I really hope for a miracle deep down inside my heart. I want to be practical, but living in a dream world may make us feel good sometimes. Just believe that miracle will happen? Just so??!!

In a nutshell, it is just so simple yet so complicated. I wish someone can understand what i feel, or at least understand my feeling for now….