Hope

I made the initiative to go LR to see him. Well, I think I’m making it very obvious. Although I had some cover-up moves. He did come to talk to me, however, I did not know whether it was just coincidently he walked out to find someone, then just saw me by chance and talked to me. I was like a lil’ blank every time I see him. Usually I’ll become tongue-tied! Idiot! Oh…

He asked me to have a dinner with him, a rush dinner as he was on-call yesterday. My heart wanted, but my mind kept telling me to reject him, as I want to know how much he wants me as his company. Is it he only asked me by chance as I meet him in the ward? Or is it he just feel lonely and simply asked me? Or maybe he did really want to have a dinner with me? She told me her opinion that if a guy really fond of me, he will ask me out again even if I had rejected him a few times. I mean, if HE really likes me, do ask me out again, my heart will melt! I’m not a stony-hard person. I’m just a girl. I think I have made so many moves that show I am fond of HIM. Pasar malam, ward, and lunch in Kompleks.

I just want HIM to make a few initiatives. Am I asking too much? Just Call me or message me. Keep my mind occupied. Everytime it was me who message or find him. I’m just a girl. To me, I think I am straight forward enough. I am fond of him. What? I think HE does have some interest in me, but I want to ask for more signs to confirm. Sometimes, I think he is so nice to everyone that I’m just one of it. Nothing special. Just plain sweet talks. IF it is really that case, I SHOULD quit missing HIM. It’ll be better just remain friends. Don’t waste my energy thinking about HIM.

I really wish I am a boy right now. I want to know how does a boy thinks and feels, especially in this kind of situation. But I’m just a girl. I just want to protect myself from getting HURT in the end. I’m not asking too much, am I? I really hate this part right now, because it leaves me hanging. Dilemma.

DO YOU LIKE ME? C’mon, give me some signs, because I like you too, it wouldn’t be so difficult to approach me. Otherwise, DON”T contact me no more, let me live peacefully… sigh~~