~A New GOAL~

It was quite a time since I last post a blog. Time flies in just a few blink of eyes. I am now into my 4th year of study, which is phase IIIB. I can hardly believe that I am going to graduate very soon! Though it will be year 2011... Haha... I consider it fast because all those tough examination "drag" my view on years of studying medicine.

Since I knew that I passed my phase IIIA examination, as well as all four of my close friends passed along with me, I am so relieved. ALthough I did not felt much excitement, I just knew that I had dumped away the heavy stone within me which had bother for weeks. I carried on. What else do you expect me to? I went home, being a tour guide to my "sisters" back in my hometown; attended my buddy's convocation dinner; my second college's seniors' convocation dinner; and lastly, enjoyed myself to the fullest in Bali Island for 4 days.

There, we 3 girls with Sharen as the leader most of the time, backpacking mostly at Kuta Beach. I guess, I gotta post another blog on my tour in Bali. Hehe... Too long a story.

By the time I came back, I only had a day to rest. Then my minor posting began, which is Anaesthesiology. Now that the first week of the posting had passed, I guess I enjoyed it although I was obviously tired mentally as well as physically. I had stopped practising my yoga for weeks now. Everyday in this week was so packed the schedule. However, now that I found CH as my partner to ward, I am able to find myself enjoying the posting. We had little to study, basically only lecture notes, but we spend our time inside the OT and becoming the observers besides getting the practical knowledge from those experience MO.

I am so thankful that I had met few good and kind doctors during this posting. Especially I had some interest in it even before I get into my clinical years. Dr. Vasanthan, Dr. Loo, Dr. LeeMF, Prof.Gracie, Prof YKChan had succcessfully increase the depth of my interest into the field. However, there is still a long long way for me to go before I can decide to follow the route they introduce to me. Yet, a GOOD beginning is always important, right? They make me feel that Anaes is interesting and fun and crucial in order to sustain life in different aspects. As a human, every body has the right to be pain-free. So here is the role of analgesia and anasesthesia. As a matter of fact, I even realise that many patients and procedures depending on it, without me realising it much earlier. I bet many people don't as well. In contrast, I am quite ashamed that I had forgotten all my physiology and pharmacology that I had learnt during my first and socond year. Well, on the bright side is, I still have the chance to revise it as much as I could, because the advantages of me being still a medical student (MS) after all!

Besides that, sit-down talks with Prof. Chan and Dr. V had me open my eyes to a few things in LIFE. Because that is what I always bother about. LIFE.

Prof. Chan gave me a quotes for me to hold-on, as she came to it by experience, which is 4L and 3e.

LIVE, LEARNING, LOVE, LEGACY, ENTHUSIASM, ENERGITIC, AND ... EXPECTATION

On the other hand, Dr. V had advised both of us that the learning time for MS is not only during office hours. THe longer you stay in the ward, the more you learn. Because nowadays experience of a doctor the society expecting is based on skills on the practical aspects. Knowledge alone from the text books is inadequate. This makes me more motivated to go to ward more frequently. Luckily, CH is a hard-working student, as compared to a much more lazy me.. Hence, I have a friend who is able to push me to be more hard-working, why not? ALthough I have to sacrifice the time for being able to laze around even during the weekend! hoho....

After the experience I had in Emergency Department today, I found that there's too many things that I don't know. Especially in an emergency setting, I found myself standing there do not know what to do. I was stunted. Do not know where to begin with. I was asked to set IV line, yet I can't find a proper vein. At least I was able to take blood sample.

Haih...everything comes with practice! undeniably!!!

I told myself from now on, I have to study smart and practice more. Be more confident and more calm. I mean, not that I had study stupid for the past years, but now that I have less and less time to revise everything from the beginning... I know that I always been telling myself to be confident and calm, yet, I still couldn't handle it well. I always think too much that I can't make decision well but only wasting precious time thinking and considering.

I know, everything comes with practice and experience. Again and again~~

~YO~