Since morning, i'd been rushing here and there. Painting the whole KB town red! Yet, what i've done???
LIst to to completed:
my high heels, checked;
photocopy reference book, checked;
donation to WWF-Malaysia, checked;
Paying debts, checked,
Cut hair, checked;
Hugging mom;
eat as much home-cooked meals, DONE!
Well, I'm definitely sleep-deprived. Slept late but woke up early. I just refused to waste any minutes at home. Went online as long as i could and not making any effort to edit my thematic report! It was a total hazard! Language (as I have been always complaining about) and attitudes of my colleagues~~ I'm so sick of these...............
Luckily, i'm home. Balanced up! My dad was so willing to fetch me here and there helping me running my errants. Mom cooked such a nice meals for me. I'm so touched! Little bro was so loving... I wonder what have I done to them? .... I can't list it out.... So bad!
Anyway, the journey back to Klang tomorrow is gonna be torturing, I can imagine that already. WhateVer it is, I have no choice. Life's like this~
On the other hand, I'm fighting within my own inner conflict. Am I .... Shd I.... WHat will i discover? What will others think? WHat will happen exactly? or just end up NIL??!!
Just gotta leave things to settle on its own sometimes, nothing much that I can do.
Why????
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
I'm always thinking... I think a lot actually, of everything. Myself, my parents, my family, my friends, my academic, and etc.
I was so devastated when i first found out my plan to go back home failed. I even had tears flowing down my cheek. I just can't control that. Too bad. Too emotional of me. Yet, in the nick of time, my roomie saved me. She called up her aunt to give me a ride. In the end, i'm home! Yippie!!!! I can sleep on my bed, hug my lovely brother as well as my loving parents. I just feel so glad right now.
It has been quite some time since the last time i had posted a blog. In the past few weeks, I went to Maran, Pahang. A very small Bandar Ayam Kampung. While doing project, my group members and I had found some fun although some of us (girls) had lived miserably in the dining hall next to a kitchen! bad... On the other hand, it was indeed a very good memory and experience. My relationship with my coursemates became so much better and closer. We played together, sleep together (not the guys though...), eat together, and work together. I enjoyed alot!
Small things may lead to one another... Certain comments by my colleagues had made me pay extra attention to a friend. Well, I admitted that some comments really did make me feel shy to talk to him sometimes. LUckily, he was sporting enough for all those. HIm and I were just good friends (I think), although I don't know him much. Just have good impression on him. Hope those comments won't cause me to lose a friend like what I had experienced in my secondary school!
Mentioning of Maran town, my editing job not finish yet! Too bad that I have too bring it bcck to edit. Language is the major problem. I find it hard to understand what is written sometimes. I have to re-write the discussions again whilst my own language is not very good though...
So many things are waiting for me. Hence i'm often in dilemma, which to settle first?
WHatever.... (study later...)
Oh yeah, today 8.30pm is the time to play our part in joining the 60 earth hour programme. I'll play my role definitely.
I was so devastated when i first found out my plan to go back home failed. I even had tears flowing down my cheek. I just can't control that. Too bad. Too emotional of me. Yet, in the nick of time, my roomie saved me. She called up her aunt to give me a ride. In the end, i'm home! Yippie!!!! I can sleep on my bed, hug my lovely brother as well as my loving parents. I just feel so glad right now.
It has been quite some time since the last time i had posted a blog. In the past few weeks, I went to Maran, Pahang. A very small Bandar Ayam Kampung. While doing project, my group members and I had found some fun although some of us (girls) had lived miserably in the dining hall next to a kitchen! bad... On the other hand, it was indeed a very good memory and experience. My relationship with my coursemates became so much better and closer. We played together, sleep together (not the guys though...), eat together, and work together. I enjoyed alot!
Small things may lead to one another... Certain comments by my colleagues had made me pay extra attention to a friend. Well, I admitted that some comments really did make me feel shy to talk to him sometimes. LUckily, he was sporting enough for all those. HIm and I were just good friends (I think), although I don't know him much. Just have good impression on him. Hope those comments won't cause me to lose a friend like what I had experienced in my secondary school!
Mentioning of Maran town, my editing job not finish yet! Too bad that I have too bring it bcck to edit. Language is the major problem. I find it hard to understand what is written sometimes. I have to re-write the discussions again whilst my own language is not very good though...
So many things are waiting for me. Hence i'm often in dilemma, which to settle first?
WHatever.... (study later...)
Oh yeah, today 8.30pm is the time to play our part in joining the 60 earth hour programme. I'll play my role definitely.
Depress, is the word that suits me well? I’m not sure, because I don’t feel good, that’s all I can say for now.
Dunno why, I feel very down today. Morning wake up, I started to feel lost. Alone, to be exact. Why am I here? Where should I go? What should I do next? I feel like I lost my direction. I have task to do, but it makes me feel irritated. Uneasy. God knows why! Haih, I am feeling empty. It is so hard to describe it in words. I tried to eat, sweet stuff, you know, may increase good hormone that makes us feel good. But sadly, that don’t work on me this time. I try listen to music, but still no changes. Bad…. What should I do now? Talk? To whom? My mom? I don’t want to bother her with my problems. I don’t want her to worry about me, she is busy marking exam papers. Dad? Erm, he’ll sure say something positive to calm me down. But that’s not what I want.
Actually I don’t even know what I want. What I am searching for…. I just feel so empty. That’s all. As a matter of fact, my mood swings. I’m thinking that I’m not independent enough to solve my own problems. Friends? Who should I talk to? Roommate? I don’t’ know how to talk to her…. My best friend? By the way, I don’t’ want to bother anyone. But this stupid feeling is killing me at his moment. What can I do? Feel like crying… Too idiot to do so…
Currently listening to song by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. It is so graceful and sweet. But is it real? Can there be any miracle happen in reality? Just believe it and it can be achieved? I want to, but the hope is really frail…. Seems to be far far away. I’m just too naïve, I think. Although I really hope for a miracle deep down inside my heart. I want to be practical, but living in a dream world may make us feel good sometimes. Just believe that miracle will happen? Just so??!!
In a nutshell, it is just so simple yet so complicated. I wish someone can understand what i feel, or at least understand my feeling for now….
Dunno why, I feel very down today. Morning wake up, I started to feel lost. Alone, to be exact. Why am I here? Where should I go? What should I do next? I feel like I lost my direction. I have task to do, but it makes me feel irritated. Uneasy. God knows why! Haih, I am feeling empty. It is so hard to describe it in words. I tried to eat, sweet stuff, you know, may increase good hormone that makes us feel good. But sadly, that don’t work on me this time. I try listen to music, but still no changes. Bad…. What should I do now? Talk? To whom? My mom? I don’t want to bother her with my problems. I don’t want her to worry about me, she is busy marking exam papers. Dad? Erm, he’ll sure say something positive to calm me down. But that’s not what I want.
Actually I don’t even know what I want. What I am searching for…. I just feel so empty. That’s all. As a matter of fact, my mood swings. I’m thinking that I’m not independent enough to solve my own problems. Friends? Who should I talk to? Roommate? I don’t’ know how to talk to her…. My best friend? By the way, I don’t’ want to bother anyone. But this stupid feeling is killing me at his moment. What can I do? Feel like crying… Too idiot to do so…
Currently listening to song by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. It is so graceful and sweet. But is it real? Can there be any miracle happen in reality? Just believe it and it can be achieved? I want to, but the hope is really frail…. Seems to be far far away. I’m just too naïve, I think. Although I really hope for a miracle deep down inside my heart. I want to be practical, but living in a dream world may make us feel good sometimes. Just believe that miracle will happen? Just so??!!
In a nutshell, it is just so simple yet so complicated. I wish someone can understand what i feel, or at least understand my feeling for now….
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